We are constantly evolving.
Sometimes it feels slow.
Other times it feels rapid.
Over the last 11 months,
I feel as if I’m just a shell,
A shell of who I once was.
This is necessarily good or bad,
I just think myself a year ago,
Would see a stark difference,
Between me then and me now.
Growth is strange,
Exciting,
Scary,
And liberating.
All at the same time.
A year ago,
I thought I was the healthiest I ever was.
Both mentally and physically.
I was hiking not only to be physically fit,
But mentally fit.
Being one with nature.
Grabbing life by the horns,
Doing things I thought were impossible,
Which also made my physical heath peak.
I was learning to get out of my own head.
Then, it changed.
I had to hit the restart button.
Growth reimagined.
I have learned a lot.
I have resifted my priorities.
Things I once viewed as normal,
And took it as a way of life,
We’re actually toxic.
Nothing in life should be toxic.
Nothing should negatively impact your mood,
Your mind,
Or impact your life to be unbearable at times.
This includes your friends,
Your family,
Your job,
Your hobbies,
Your thoughts.
It’s the mental toxicity that is deadly.
Deadlier than the radiation within my body.
Let it go.
Unselfishly put yourself first.
You have to understand yourself,
Before you can contribute to others growth.
I cannot tell you what my annual appointments hold,
Good?
Bad?
However, I’m here one year later.
With short term memory issues,
Depression,
Anxiety,
Executive functioning disorder/ADHD,
A few extra pounds from steroids,
Numbness in my face,
A scar.
However I’m also here,
Without a tumor,
Support,
From family & friends,
Old and new,
New life experiences,
Strength,
And Grit.
Still saying a big fuck you to brain tumors,
Cancer,
Radiation,
And medical bills.
Saying hello to,
New friends,
New connections,
And new friends through sharing my story.
Even the lowest parts of life,
Happen for a reason.
If life was easy,
There would be no stories to share,
No reason to keep going,
No reason to make connections.
Keep living, even when it sucks.
Growth is not linear.
Each plant grows different.
Water may not always come when needed,
Plants may start to die at points,
Regression,
Growth always comes after regression.
Hope.
Be bold.
#meningiomaawareness #lifeaftercancer #bebold #beccasjourney
Becca’s Meningioma 2 Journey 
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