Own Enemy

Self loathing is when you drown,

In our own negative thoughts,

And there is no way out.

You are ugly.

You have gained weight.

You are unintelligent.

You are unworthy.

Self deprecation is occurring and you want it to end.

Try some mediation.

Try three deep breaths.

Try snapping out of it.

You know this is all in your head, right?

However your mind is strangling you.

You want to change.

You want to become a better you.

But, nothing is good enough.

Your brain snaps at any second.

Something you once enjoyed you loathe.

Now you seek help,

However you’re adding more medications mindlessly.

Adding more medication tips the scale.

It becomes off balance.

So you blame yourself.

The doctors are frustrated,

Are they frustrated with me?

More medications added.

More taken away.

When will we find the perfect balance?

One that makes my brain think like I used to.

Disgusted by yourself.

The events you once felt powerful from,

Seem dreadful.

Why me?

Why does the universe fight back on me?

Seeing life through sunglasses constantly is not ideal.

Hopefully, they will be ripped off soon,

And life will become vibrant.

Mental health is health.

Be bold.

Keep going even when it feels like the end of the road,

With a thousand bricks holding you down.

One day, the wall will break and the road will become open.

#beccasjourney #bebold #mentalhealth #meningiomaawareness #braininjury